Al reviewed the year's results. Screen time:Reading,
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Al reviewed the year's results. Screen time:Reading, Goal 1:1. Result 6:1. Percent calories from protein, fat, carbs, Goal 20/40/40, Result 10/60/30. Hours of sleep per night, Goal
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7:1, Result 13:1. He averaged 3 hours of sleep/food comas last year, so he waaaayy overcompensated. Al decided to try less hard in 2013. He removed mothballs from his stretch pants
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with a pair of tweezers and and a magnifying glass. Al snapped his stretch pants on and felt damned fresh. He sauntered into his closet looking for the purple fadora and found a gi
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Mlet made just for him on the evening of the first real snowfall. Bloody Mary was making a meanie martini for Al as well. "Happy birthday!", she said. Now he had a real treat!
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But Al had a drinking problem and he drooled some of the Bloody Mary's meanie martini. Wierdly, it contained tomato juice and Meret mistook it for blood. Al was a vampire?
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That explained the erratic electrical fluctuations when AI was siphoning the energies around AI. To some it might look like twinkling. AI needed the cold & the dark, just like a va
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ccuum needs dust. Like a human needs death. Al put down the siphon hose, got into his space-a-macycle and sped off towards Neptune. Looking down he noticed a distant but quickly ap
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-proaching nuclear device. He pedaled his space-a-macycle as fast as he could toward Neptune, but the bomb was tracking him, like the yes of a deftly painted portrait. His only
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hope was penetrating Uranus & despite the perilous situation he was in, he couldn't help laughing at that fact. Then he had a brilliant idea! He'd pedal to Uranus & the bomb would
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explode in Uranus destroying everything in Uranus. Thus Uranus was no more.
2
- Started
- 2013-01-27 05:57:52
- Finished
- 2018-08-17 03:25:32
6 Comments
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Woab Aug 17 2018 @ 12:38
Foo. I meant "eyes" but typed "yes" and muffed the imagery. Please forgive me. Buddyboy and MoralEnd's lines killed.
LordVacuity Aug 17 2018 @ 12:43
I guess he cleared Uranus of all Clingons.
PurpleProf Aug 17 2018 @ 23:01
I feel that hemorrhoids and asteroids are maybe the same thing.
LordVacuity Aug 18 2018 @ 16:31
Yes, PurpleProf, if you go by feeling alone, they might feel the same but when you open your mind to see them in their stark nakedness, hemorrhoids and asteroids are completely different animals.
PurpleProf Aug 18 2018 @ 21:41
Thanks for clearing that up for me, LV. Now I know.
ValkyrieGrrl Aug 19 2018 @ 06:42
Asteroids can largely be dodged. Hemorrhoids, however, are often the result of too many long extended inter-dimensional rides on ones' Space-a-ma-cycle or by the act of repeated Uranus penetration. Just sayin'...(I mean...I don't know personlly...I think I read that somewhere...ahem...)