Grandpa carried on, "Back in my day, our

Grandpa carried on, "Back in my day, our good ideas lit torches, not bulbs. I remember when I caught wind of some necromancing scallawags, ooh boy. Ghosts don't like fire, nor do

zombies or werewolves or people for that matter. So when I torched the graveyard full of scallawags I had a whole mess of folks pissed off at me. Back in those days we didn't have

laws to keep people like me behind bars, though. I got out in a couple of nights and they gave me a KEY, dammit. A damn key to the graveyard and told me, "DO IT AGAIN!" So I

Did it again. I like the graveyards in the South because most of them are above grounds on account of all the floodin'. Slidin' the lids off is hard, but that's what the crow bar

te them. Them being dead and gone for more then a year should not be a deterrent to getting a bounty paid. The Mason Gang was worth more alive then dead it seemed. He began the ri

Tual with the usual greetings. The Mason Gang asked for a date when the money would be repaid, but there was no way to negotiate that now. He said, "only by exchanging road kill".

"We'll give you two dead squirrels and a flattened opossum for your headless raccoon," said the Mason Gang. "Deal," he said. So he and the Mason gang all went on a date together to

The Haight & Ashbury Free Clinic where we all got out HIV tests done. We photo copied our test results hundreds of times to wallpaper our new joint gang out. The Mason Dixies were

playing at the I-beam. I hate southern rock, makes me violent. So I ate an entire sheet of acid and went to the concert. Wound up at the Grand Canyon, thought I was hallucinating.