The coffee mug was empty. It wasn't strictly

The coffee mug was empty. It wasn't strictly a mug in the truest sense of the word, but a blender pitcher that had been the last clean vessel for caffeine. He stared in despair at

Ron Popiel who kept waving a flag that read, "Set and Forget It!" He grabbed the usher and said, "You are in a world of hurt." He squeezed dijon in his eyes and made a bee line

for the banquet table. Tuesdays were mashed potato nights and he was going to make the most of this all-you-can-eat offer since he was in an all-you-can-eat mood. He didn't notice

that the waitress had spat into his Perfect Manhattan. But then, it was his fourth. He was sober enough,however, to notice that the spuds were INSTANT! Mama always warned

me that small packages are exactly how they look. I needed the real thing & I knew exactly where to go

Newsstands had always held a special place for me, since i was raised by a family of hit men in one. Of course, i was ambivalent. Going back with this crazy request was

necessary for German pie. Two parts corn on the cobb sated the hit men, and I was sure it would do me good in this situation none the wiser. Brick willows dropped to the table if

people plant brick willow trees next to the table. And since no one had, no brick wills would drop, and so this led me to an idea. I would escape the hungry hit men by cooking m

Hogwarts. I mean that was where all the celebrities went after they "died". As I made my way to the wizarding school I thought "Damn, I can't wait to meet Michael Jackson."