I was the only survivor of that tragedy.

I was the only survivor of that tragedy. Since then, I've gained amazing superpowers and each day I discover more of them. For example, yesterday, I was lifting cars, when

all of I sudden I shat a solid brick of pure uranium. Though this may have startled the average man, I was a super man, and as such I decided to use my powers for the forces of

good, to provide clean and safe energy as opposed to the malicious coal man who tries to promote his fossil fuel to pollute the world as we know it. Disguised as mild mannered

encyclopedia salesman, he spent his days on the road, scouring the southeastern United States, attempting to convince the toothless masses that books did not cause global warming.

He'd chosen this career to satisfy his passion for encyclopedias and the spread of knowledge. He loved knocking on a door, fiddling his bow tie, asking for mint juleps before

evil sequel? Jesus. It's not the Zombies that won't die, it's this terrible, floundering septic, puss bag of money that the studio keeps reviving because

the freakin' communists forgot to calculate pure greed into their theories. I knew I'd have only one shot at this. I sneaked up to the pussed bag of money, trying to stay out of it

animulli's radar while sprinkling the scarab beetle powder into his drink. He was "The Eye" at the center of the storm. Soon he would be under my control & the satanic cabal

would listen only to me. I would kill this man and rule them all. Yes, one ring to rule them all, one ring to find them. It was true. And now it would be MINE.