"Am I dead?" I wondered. The light at the

"Am I dead?" I wondered. The light at the end of the tunnel I was always told about was nowhere to be seen. I just floated gracefully until I ran into what appeared to be

a marble obelisk. At its top was a blue flame giving off a modest light that shown only on my person. However, this light only got brighter, revealing more scenery.

the that pizza place you love so much!", when I said that I suddently realized that my love was getting fat, no fat wasn't enough, she was getting obese. Tears started to run in my

veins like the spectre of Ronald Reagan's inaugural semen. 'What was his name?' I wondered. Then, I remembered: 'Ronald Reagan'. But who was he? A goat headed

lion, with the tail of a snake. It made me realize he was some kind of Manticore. I had no idea what to do in these

spanx. It was cutting off the circulation to my head. I was all purple and blustery. I saw a Manticore, a dragon, a griffin, a chimera. I asked them for tea and

they proceeded to murder me in fantastical ways. In my next life, I tried the same thing again, but with a kind-eyed centaur. His eyes quickly lost their kindness, and his hooves

quickly turned to gelatin. I was amazed and decided to marry him only to find out

on the wedding night that gelatin was not only non-vegetarian, but also surprisingly volatile. Needless to say, PETA weren't at all happy.