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One of the biggest problems in the world,

  • One of the biggest problems in the world, is the amount of oil that the world has. This is the story about a boy that goes on his way into the world to

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  • try to get laid and forget about the oil problem. His name was George Bush JR. All he wanted to do was chew copenhagen and chase tail. The only problem was that he'd been kicked in

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  • the ass by the conservative nouveau. They could pin "presidential" on anything with a penis, but needed his dad's CIA contacts to move the oil cleanup rights toward their leader's

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  • mac-n-cheese farm. Nouveau, schmouveau! He would continue his course and not relinquish his rainbow wig. The white house would still be his. Why? Because he was a crazy mofo

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  • and he was bound and determined to be the first Clown President. Soon thereafter, he encountered his first resistance; a secretary at The Office of Presidential Elegibility. But he

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  • was a bit hungover, this secretary, and paid no attention to his clown act. Unfortunately for the Clown Candidate for the Democratic party, the position was given to a chimpanzee.

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  • In hindsight, a chimpanzee was a better candidate anyway, considering that so many children are born afraid of clowns. Who can blame them? Next to priests, clowns have the worst

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  • breath, disgusting BO and they prefer listening to 'MC Hammer' albums over anything else. What child would want to go near a clown?! Then again, a chimpanzee would

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  • not have shown so much intelligence. Nor would an ape. Now in Darwin's opinion, as recorded in 1887, the genus of the chimpanzee is very similar to

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  • that of man for squaring the hippopotamus of said troglodyte gives a similar measure to ours. Lest I disturb the 800 lb gorilla of human hubris, I claim they are just 2nd cousins.

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