"Tojo, I've a feeling we're not in Osaka

"Tojo, I've a feeling we're not in Osaka anymore," said Emperor Hirohito.

"My dear emperor, that is the problem with feelings: they are seldom reliable in matters of the maps", Tojo replied. "We are still in Shiomibashi, pretty accurate GPS I have here."

The Emperor told Tojo's head in its last moments of reception, "Nonsense! I do not wear GPS on my forehead, but I do know the Krakenobu Prefecture when I see it." The fog that

obscured now cleared and Kraken-san was displayed in his great wooden cage. He was depleted of his tastiest tentacles and was a sorry sight. Even the Emperor felt a twinge of regre

t and had the imperial artisans create prosthetic tasty tentacles from rice flour & squid paste. Kraken-san was delighted with his new limbs and began to sing & dance in his cage.

Kraken-san being a sea-monster, this was not the most pleasing sight or sound to endure in the kingdom, but I had my court endure it for my amusement. I then wondered about whether

one could dig a hole in the water. I asked Kraken-san, but he looked at me and screeched like all flustered sea monsters do. He proceeded to dig a hole in the water, into which he

placed a super-cooled container filled with my exes' hearts to instantaneously freeze the water and prevent the hole from sloshing to a close. Kraken-san proceeded to dip his toes

and froze on contact. That ex of his was one cold-hearted woman. He tried to pull his feet free, but at last they were frozen in place. "Crap," He cursed. "What do I do now?

"Let it go!" she sung and flew away in a cloud of snow. Standing motionless, succumbing to hypothermia, his blue lips whispered: "Damn, you Disney!"