To: "Nick Robertson" <nrobertson@accounting.HRG.com>

To: "Nick Robertson" <nrobertson@accounting.HRG.com> Subject: C'mon man Body Text: Hey Nick, Look I know you've been out sick for a while but I really need those TPS reports. -Bob

To: "Bob" <boss@corneroffice.HRG.com> Subject: Blah blah blah, your needs. Body Text: Hey Bob, I'm out sick because I'm allergic to stupid. I work for you. Any connection? -Nick.

To: “Nick” <Dick [oops, I mean,] Nick@loser.HRG.com> Text: Your slacker jackass better be at your desk in 15 minutes or you’re fired. -Bob <boss@corneroffice.HRG.com>

Well, that was of course too good an offer to resist. So I lighted another cigarette and smoked quietly for another 15 minutes. Then the boss came at me with a flame-thrower. "You'

Were supposed to have this project done by noon!" "Now ive got this client that wants two AK-47's merged with a telescopic umbrella mounted to a

parrot head for the new James Bond flick. They have Mary Poppins hired as Q. Daniel Craig's double says the stunts with the new gadgets are hell. Flying with AK47 mounted umbrella

on top of "Screech's" kinky hair was impossible to work with. The concept was Mary Poppins meets James Bond Meets saved by the bell. This was a demographic super burrito

& burritos were the reason he hadn't killed himself yet. Because he really wanted a burrito. And if he ate one, he'd want to live again. A conundrum. Mary Poppins shaved Screech's

head and dipped it in salsa. Then she broke into song: 'A spoonful of guacamole helps the anti-depressant medicine go down...' and shoved a large serving spoon in his mouth to help

him swallow. He couldn't believe this was happening to him again. The time he spent with Annie Wilkes was paradise compared to this. "God I love you," she whispered. He swallowed.