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Superman's "Pal" Jimmy Olsen-Iss.934"Golly!"

  • Superman's "Pal" Jimmy Olsen-Iss.934"Golly!" said Jimmy, "By my new weight-loss superpowers, I've tricked Supes into killing Lois! Now I can sell his secret ident for Crazodiamonds
  • said Jimmy Olsen. But it didn't change the fact that he was a pure geek. Not in the expert in some arcane knowledge sense, but just in the loser no one likes sense.
  • Jimmy was more dork than geek or nerd, but could pass for a dweeb, when necessary. Socially inept at best, social nuisance and outcast at worst. It hadn't always been this way.
  • Once he had been suave and debonair, flitting about in high society. Everyone who was anyone knew him. He sported lederhosen, big bow ties, platform boots and a giant pompadour.
  • When the rock polka was in, he was there. Riffing on his rhinestone studded accordion, he played every beer hall. One day, he met four hoods from Liverpool. "Rock? Yah?"
  • The four wore matching boas, and twirled them in unison. "YAH!" Next thing you know, he had joined the Psychedelic Boas on a Rock Polka Glam Metal tour with Tori Amos.
  • Shows were sold out worldwide. It was great, this Rock Polka tour, but the groupies were ugly. Fat German women with braids & hairy armpits tried to seduce him. SHEISSE! His boa
  • rish behaviour towards the flower of German groupie womanhood backfired when no women showed up to Rock Polka's Wendisch Baggendorf gigs in solidarity with their misunderstood sist
  • erhood intact. How could I have been so wrong in my understanding of the fairer sex he mumbled as he fumbled with the snaps on his Wranglers. What is it with those German groupies
  • and their hairy armpits? Sighing, he snuck out of the naked body-strewn aftermath, thinking that there must be more to life than this.

4 Comments

  1. Gibber Mar 22 2015 @ 13:36

    She's got electric boots, a mohair suit, you know, I read it in a magazaheeen. Which reminds me of David Bowie's Ziggy Stardust - "With just a beer light to guide us" My band was playing at a bar one night, I was trying to read the song list but the only light was from a neon Budweiser sign at the side of the stage. AND THEN I UNDERSTOOD!

  2. SlimWhitman Mar 22 2015 @ 14:37

    LOL. Nice RL story Gibber. Jeffo & PProf are on a wavelength with the 'German groupies have hairy armpits thing', What's with that?

  3. lucielucie Mar 22 2015 @ 16:53

    Ich bin ein German groupie mit hairy armpits as JFK didn't say as far as I'm aware ????

  4. PurpleProf Mar 22 2015 @ 20:11

    That's so funny. We unfairly stereotype the same way... By the way, I absolutely LOVE Germany and if I could get away with not shaving my armpits, I'd do it...but alas, American women are fussy about such things.

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