I sighed. Okay, Johnny, I'll tell you one

I sighed. Okay, Johnny, I'll tell you one more story before you go to sleep to be sure that you don't have any more nightmares. Here goes. "Once upon a time there was a young boy

named Timmy who was an insurance salesman/Jehovah's witness. He rode door-to-door in his Magic Wagon, selling life/afterlife policies. But one day, the Magic Wagon broke down in

Bakersfield &while Timmy was waiting for replacement parts to be delivered, the Devil decided to tempt him. He told Timmy the afterlife policies he sold weren't amortizing

because the Minimum Payments were artificially low. But the Devil said, "Have you ever heard of a Reverse Mortgage." Timmy was intrigued because he'd never heard of that and

the succubus was hot. "Put up your immortal soul for collateral, pay off your bills, and maintain your hedonistic lifestyle." Timmy pricked his thumb. "Where do I sign?"

"Oh, if you would, just riiiight... here." said Ozzy. Suddenly Timmy found himself in a hot tub with Beelzebub and Lucifer. "So Timmy, said Lucy, you want to party hard, hmmm?"

Timmy was in a hot spot and it wasn't getting cooler anytime soon. Quick move to the left and a dive to the middle of the hot tub gave Beelzebub the slip. He jumped up and took

off his underpants. He'd spent the night sweating the cops - and the broads. "Time to cool this scene down," he said to himself. Looking at his penis, it all came together. He wasn

't ever gonna be lonely again! He'd be the only member of his own members only club, with his own club and everything. "I'm going all the way D O W N T O W N", he grinned inwardly.

Then all the lights came on and everyone jumped from behind the furniture. SURPRISE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! They cheered and clapped him on the back.He acted happy, but was so p***ed.