Come here and talk to your Uncle. Listen

Come here and talk to your Uncle. Listen boy, if you want to invest in the future, two words. Pneumatic Tubes.

Someone gave me advice back in 1968 when I graduated. "Plastics," he said. But no, I didn't listen & instead married your Aunt Elaine. Uncle Ben knows best, son. Pneumatic Tubes

sure, they can suck trash through out Disneyland faster than you can Jack Robinson, but they're empty. Aunt Elaine? That's where the love is." Said Uncle Ben. How do I get out of

this one? I thought to myself, This guy is effing crazy! Had he ever actually SEEN Aunt Elaine? She had more bristles on her chin than a cactus (assuming cacti have chins), and as

I'd never visited Aunt Elaine without the burn of a bristly kiss warming my cheeks on the bus ride home, I decided he MUST be crazy. "Here," I held out a razor to him. "You'll need

to slit your throat before I'll allow you another kiss." The bus driver looked at me with suspicion, then at the razor, then at the screaming children. He pressed the razor to his

forehead & slashed to the left. He had always wanted side bangs." How do I look" the bus driver asked "Better than that kid? Do I look kissable?" he wanted to know. At last

The passenger answered truthfully, no. The bus driver was devastated and nearly crashed the bus. He was fired for negligence. The passenger took over driving the bus to the garage.

n employment agency. Pretty soon the drivers were being spit in as fast as they were spit out and the bus was being propelled forward by their sheer momentum and used zero fuel.