"Diaries are kept by men: strong brushstrokes

"Diaries are kept by men: strong brushstrokes on smooth mulberry paper, gathered into sheaves and tied with ribbon and placed in a lacquered box."

Jane stared at the words on the page & then at the lacquered box in her hand. Had she discovered the long-lost Secrets of Men scrolls? Sure enough, inside were the mulberry scrolls

were the secrets to opening jars, how to perform a 'boy look', the crippling man flu, building a man cave, dad jokes, colour blindness and spacial awareness. Jane

was Tarzan's wife in a book of "fiction." Maurice had 50 copies of Tarzan in his Apt. It was starting to make sense to Jane, Jane Kerzowski that is. Now she knew why he was always

locked himself in the bathroom for days on end. That much, she could abide. But when she discovered an early manuscript for his first foray into ape-erotica, "50 Shades of Jane",

Tarzan was poised to become a best selling author for the first time. Amazon sold the book, they were so impressed. It was also available as an e-book.

Cheetah the chimpanzee was very excited about the e-book. "Eee! EEEEE!" she said, but was disappointed to find that she couldn't read any of the words, and smashed her cell phone

against the back of her palm that was filled with a banana. She started to cry and then realized that Elephant the hippo could read and so she slowly began to scrape the

tattoo with a giant smiling hippo & the epithet "Hippos is gap toothed blubber filled swamp potatoes" from her palm with the bark of a jubjub tree, but Elephant the hippo took pity

on the sniveling swampster.The two misfits shared stories and with time grew to be the best of friends.