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A is for alligator. They are green, they

  • A is for alligator. They are green, they like to live in Florida and sometimes they eat small dogs. If you rub their bellies, they get sleepy.

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  • B is for Beaver. They are brown, they like to build dams. If you offered them a cookie or pepperoni pizza they would choose the cookie 78 out of 100 times.

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  • But choosing cookies over pepperoni pizza just shows that beavers have great taste, at least in food. Do NOT let them decorate for you though. Every recommendation is log-based

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  • . I'm at loggerheads with my beaver architect, Beaverly Bevis. She logged way to many hrs designing my logotherapy practice as a split level log cabin. "I wanted a Logarithmic Lodg

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  • ing, not another loggy military base. This is base 10, Ms. Beaverly. Please honor my request for a natural log cabin - homey, aseptic, an inflammable waiting room, no nukes."

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  • The organic house builder agreed. Almost three years later, it was finished. Materials requested were scarce but were finally located - in Siberia. Transportation alone was quite

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  • expensive, but frozen yak butter was cheap and readily available and made fine bricks until the next freak thaw melted them all over the yogurt-eating grannies, rendering them

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  • politically suspect. How were you going to keep yogurt-eating grannies in the yurt once they'd experienced a melted yak butter submersion? You weren't. They started voting for the

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  • opening of their borders immediately. Within weeks, the first McDonald's appeared on their ancient streets followed closely by a Sbarros and an Olive Garden. Pretty soon their coun

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  • try would need universal healthcare to enable all of their obese citizens to feed their fast food addictions. But alas, Denaldo Troomp was elected & actually saved their lives.

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2 Comments

  1. LordVacuity Jul 23 2017 @ 18:55

    You can't man your armies of expansion if your people are dead. You have to arrange it such that the only place you can find a meal is by being in the army. An army with a Great Leader who is looking at the world with hungry eyes and expansive elbows.

  2. LordVacuity Jul 23 2017 @ 19:01

    Elbow room. I was thinking Hitler but when I Googled it I also got this gem. https://youtu.be/Bs2w4lwQRtc

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