A is for alligator. They are green, they

A is for alligator. They are green, they like to live in Florida and sometimes they eat small dogs. If you rub their bellies, they get sleepy.

B is for Beaver. They are brown, they like to build dams. If you offered them a cookie or pepperoni pizza they would choose the cookie 78 out of 100 times.

But choosing cookies over pepperoni pizza just shows that beavers have great taste, at least in food. Do NOT let them decorate for you though. Every recommendation is log-based

ing, not another loggy military base. This is base 10, Ms. Beaverly. Please honor my request for a natural log cabin - homey, aseptic, an inflammable waiting room, no nukes."

The organic house builder agreed. Almost three years later, it was finished. Materials requested were scarce but were finally located - in Siberia. Transportation alone was quite

expensive, but frozen yak butter was cheap and readily available and made fine bricks until the next freak thaw melted them all over the yogurt-eating grannies, rendering them

politically suspect. How were you going to keep yogurt-eating grannies in the yurt once they'd experienced a melted yak butter submersion? You weren't. They started voting for the

opening of their borders immediately. Within weeks, the first McDonald's appeared on their ancient streets followed closely by a Sbarros and an Olive Garden. Pretty soon their coun

try would need universal healthcare to enable all of their obese citizens to feed their fast food addictions. But alas, Denaldo Troomp was elected & actually saved their lives.