'How did this happen... I got myself into

'How did this happen... I got myself into this mess, though, now I just need to get out.' I thought to myself, looking down at the chocolaty mess covering my new dress.

I decided to make the best of it and filled the tub with molten chocolate and took a bath in the dress. When my date arrived he was shocked at my appearance but

he arrived covered in a peanut-butter tux. Our Reeses motif signaled we were destined for each other. He offered his arm and we went to the prom.

People thought my date was old because he wore a top hat, a monocle and insisted on being referred to as Mr. Peanut. But I was 17 and in Mississippi that means

"old enough", so my scheme of making a living on a statutory rape settlement would have to be scrapped. Next thing I knew, I was in Mr. Peanut's bed. My breath clouded his monocle

as I whispered in Mr. Peanut's ear, "Crunchy or...creamy?" I felt Mr. Peanut stiffen under me. "I want to stick to the roof of YOUR mouth!" Mr. Peanut groaned. I admit, it was nutt

nutella and marshmallow sandwiches smeared with chocolate sauce and topped with whipped cream and cherries on top. Sometimes I pour honey on it but then it gets all sticky.

-- I rolled the page out of the typewriter and added it to the stack. My dissertation was finished! I would break for the weekend and get loaded at Last Chance, but then it was

time for me to crash in my bed and hibernate for another year. Finishing your dissertation does that sort of thing to you.