We are going to bombard the camp. Camp Candy

  • We are going to bombard the camp. Camp Candy cannot be allowed to survive on Vulcan because

  • it causes too many conflicts. Sarek gave Surak a surely eyebrow, secretly sucking a gobstopper. Surak continued, "Besides, Vulcan has lousy dentists". But the bombing of Camp Candy

  • was too delicious to stop. Sarek's men fired gumdrops at the rock candy walls, turning them to piles of FunDip. Then Surak stopped for a taste. "Ambush! This is Aspartame's work."

  • Bitterness filled Surak's mouth as he considered the most logical move against Aspartame. This was no time to get emotional. Surak had to employ (No! Oh, YES!) The Saccharin Sword.

  • Both were notoriously lethal. What sword was safe? Nobody knew, unfortunately. There were too many victims of artiticial sugars to count at the city morgue, where I worked then.

  • I decided I'd rather have diabetes than cancer so i used the raw sugar in my coffee. Everyone released the breath they had all been holding to see which I would choose. My choice c

  • of raw sugar was better than b) high fructose corn syrup, or a) agave "nectar" - which is really a marketing scam by insulin manufacturers to get millenials to eat 100% fructose so

  • that they would develop diabetes and have to buy insulin for the rest of their days. It was an ugly plot, to be sure. That is why I choose to be bitter instead of sweet. It won't

  • stop the tide of childhood obesity, but at least I won't be facilitating the growth of pharma giants. That's also the reason that I chose to live in this plastic bubble. The sex is

  • non-existent, but at least I'm not facilitating the growth of the condom giants. "You're a ridiculous person and I'm not going to interview you!" I shouted and popped the bubble.



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