Went through a red light: -10 points. Didn't

Went through a red light: -10 points. Didn't park in the handicapped zone: +20 points. I looked down at the grand total for my karma budget. Hot Dog! Enough to rob a bank!

So lightening quick I robbed the bank. Bam! picked the lock. Snap! slid under the laser trip wires. Boom. Cracked the vault and much too late I realized I was robbing a sperm bank.

Brrr. I shivered. Bam. I dropped the loads, no pun intened. Zip, I ran out the door as soon as I could. Blush, I couldn't be caught robbing a sperm bank. Psh, that'd be embarassing

Ough! I hit a hydrant. Crash! The specimen jars fall on the floor. Splosh! My loot from the spermbank goes down the drain. Ouch! The shards cut me. Sigh! I need to rob a bloodbank.

Four years later, I donated blood as a return favour to Dr. Ahgfgznjsky. He recommended it since I have type X blood, found only in extra terrestrials. It was extremely rare. Now

you might ask "Do extraterrestrials even have blood?" Rest assured,they do! This is by rational design to ensure blood splurtingly good alien films.When I donated my blood (type X)

I had not ever expected visiting this planet again. Then, now, I visit again and encounter a new evolved human species which arised from my type X blood donation way back then. Hom

-eboys that look just like me are everywhere and I am filled with pride at their beauty and despair at how little some have done with their lives, after all that blood I donated.

The trick is to get people to come near me, but I’m unfriendly, and my library’s copy of “How to Win Friends and Influence People” is currently loaned out. So I’m stuck right now.