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I was about to vote for President, when I

  • I was about to vote for President, when I wondered if it even mattered. I decided it didn't matter who I voted for, I was doomed anyway. So I didn't vote, instead I bought me a

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  • new video game and played with my friend Charlie, who didn't vote either. Then Charlie said, "Brace yourselves, political folds are coming," and he wisely fled the scene in a rush.

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  • I was left holding a joypad in my hands as the door slammed behind Charlie. Who does he think he was, leaving me in the middle of a level with a wave of mutants heading towards me.

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  • Nevermind that my relationship had fallen apart. The wave of mutants was about to cause me to lose my spot on the leaderboard! Some nerve!

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  • Yet, once I got my swerve on, weapon unholstered, prayers prayed, taxes paid, I let loose. Duck.

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  • Duck, Grey Duck! I was fast on my feet and brought my glock to aiming position. My pursuit ran around the circle of men and sat quickly. Damn, now I was "it."

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  • Being the "Goose" was no clambake let me tell you. I holstered my piece and looked at the circle of dastardly mugs. I tapped one on the head and spate, "Duck."

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  • A family of ducks heard the commotion and came to my rescue. The geese honked so loudly, the traffic was disrupted. One man accused the geese of being too noisy and called police.

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  • The police arrived and, discerning there to be no fowl play issued the man a ticket for falsely reporting an incident.

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  • Security cameras show that not even 7 minutes after police left him with his ticket he was beset on all sides by several gaggles of geese. His body was never found. His ticket was.

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