Dr. Larchmont ran a 1960s Spirogram through

Dr. Larchmont ran a 1960s Spirogram through the app. Sounded like a Scottish guy. "Mind the vowel sounds," it said. No! I thought. This can't be! Stevenson's advice had been hidden

under the cheese, which was in turn hidden behind a heap of old condiments on the bottom shelf of Dr Larchmont's rusty old stainless steel fridge. Stevenson knew the Scots couldn't

use condiments on account of their religion, and would never think to look there. But Stevenson hadn't foreseen Angus MacEwer, who had denounced religion so he could marry his

reflection. Like some postmodern Narcissus he exemplified the attainment of all who live under the modern yoke. Smashing social mores & building an altar to the self

Feigning mortification to find out that they're just a bag of walking and talking meat. The cats know it. We know it and, sadly, they know it. Which wine would they pair best with?

I haven't known anyone who turned down cheap wine though, grabbing the five dollar bottle up and bringing it to the cash register.

This night was not going to be any ordinary night. I finally had my wine, and downed the whole bottle in the parking lot.

Then I made my way into my apartments and turned on some relaxing jazz music. As I stumbled around my apartment I could feel myself fading in and out of consciousness.

I must have taken too many shots at the party, or maybe it was the fact that I hadn't slept in days, either way I made my way to my own bed, this doesn't happen often, sleepy time!