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Dr. Larchmont ran a 1960s Spirogram through

  • Dr. Larchmont ran a 1960s Spirogram through the app. Sounded like a Scottish guy. "Mind the vowel sounds," it said. No! I thought. This can't be! Stevenson's advice had been hidden

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  • under the cheese, which was in turn hidden behind a heap of old condiments on the bottom shelf of Dr Larchmont's rusty old stainless steel fridge. Stevenson knew the Scots couldn't

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  • use condiments on account of their religion, and would never think to look there. But Stevenson hadn't foreseen Angus MacEwer, who had denounced religion so he could marry his

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  • reflection. Like some postmodern Narcissus he exemplified the attainment of all who live under the modern yoke. Smashing social mores & building an altar to the self

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  • Feigning mortification to find out that they're just a bag of walking and talking meat. The cats know it. We know it and, sadly, they know it. Which wine would they pair best with?

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  • I thought maybe a nice white wine would be good for this occasion, but I know nothing about wine and which would be best.

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  • I haven't known anyone who turned down cheap wine though, grabbing the five dollar bottle up and bringing it to the cash register.

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  • This night was not going to be any ordinary night. I finally had my wine, and downed the whole bottle in the parking lot.

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  • Then I made my way into my apartments and turned on some relaxing jazz music. As I stumbled around my apartment I could feel myself fading in and out of consciousness.

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  • I must have taken too many shots at the party, or maybe it was the fact that I hadn't slept in days, either way I made my way to my own bed, this doesn't happen often, sleepy time!

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2 Comments

  1. BlastedHeath Jan 20 2020 @ 21:44

    It seems the cats do know, so don't worry too much about croaking with kitty locked inside, because eventually it will feed itself.

  2. Woab Jan 21 2020 @ 16:57

    This one cracked me up several times.

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