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She picked up a box of carnival glass at

  • She picked up a box of carnival glass at the estate sale. A small folio of faded photographs was in the bottom. It held tintypes of a men wearing assorted paper hats, glowering.

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  • One was holding a damp rabbit, with no left foot. This seemed to indicate a new trend that could bring additional charges against any rider who

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  • tried to use voodoo to win the horse races. Doping was passe. Sure enough in the next heat three riders were disqualified for mounting their steed holding decapitated chickens

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  • which turned out to be zombie chickens. Thus was born the decapitated chicken racing league. The DCRL had only one problem: finding jockeys small enough

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  • to ride these racing decapitated zombie chickens. But then he found roaches. Waxy, thick roaches, that looked like giant palm dates. He dressed the roaches up in harlequin

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  • hats of yellow and green with little tiny bells on the drooping end of each corner. The roaches appreciated the hats and proclaimed him king of the fools for only a fool would

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  • Wear a hat like that. And he was a fool, therefore he was wearing a hat like that. Being the king of the fools had its perks For example, you no longer had to wait in line. Also,

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  • people expected things like crapping in your hand and throwing it at people as a way of voicing your displeasure. The only real downside to being the dumbest man in any room was

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  • Not knowing how to pee in a potty. despite being held back 23 times in his life, he just couldn't grasp the fact that big kids don't use diapers. In addition, the ABC's also

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  • looked like Uncle Shelby wrote them. Still, his life turned out sweet, because people gave him easy breaks all the time while the people who struggled hard remained unemployed.

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