10,000 years have I sat on this stone overlooking

10,000 years have I sat on this stone overlooking the immutable ocean. 100 centuries of solitude and contemplation. And what have I profited, this isolation and futility? What was

I even thinking when I took this stupid job? Human civilization had long since perished, yet my lamp continued to shine out upon the sea, as though hoping someone was still there.

But it wasn't someone, it was something. I could feel its stare from the sea as I made my nighlty round of the island. Something waiting in the depths, beyond the beam of the

foolish creature to pass by. It would pounce from the shadows, it was a blob, or had some kind of membranes that wrapped the victim up and digested whatever was in its clutches.

Clearly this monster needed to be killed or contained, once and for all. It was time to call in some hired help. But which hired help would be the best qualified?

We placed an advertisement and soon a pile of CVs were delivered. "How about this person? 3 years experience in monster killing and several awards from the AXE society." Our fears

were validated. The best candidate had a 15-page section describing the most banal hobbies known to man on his CV. However, the need for his experience slaying monsters outweighe

d how damn boring &full of himself he was. He collected stamps & tiny spoons and he thought people cared to the degree that he put it in his resume. I just needed a monster killed

and buried artifacts found using cryptic clues, and lost, mythical islands dredged up from the bottom of the sea. Your qualifications are beneath you. Just embrace my needs.