I am the most worthless piece of shit ever

I am the most worthless piece of shit ever to walk this earth. I don't deserve peoples time. I don't deserve help, so I'll just lay here, slicing my skin with rusty blades. I panic

and then began thinking about how much s**t is really worth. A dollar a pound...or more? And who would determine its worth? Could I buy stock in s**t and increase my self-worth?

These were the deep philosophic inquiries of the Day-trader Warlock.

The warlock had always been the philosophical-inquisitive type, so he joined the philosophic inquisition and helped them to perform exorcisms on day traders.

The philosophic inquisition browbeat the possessing demons with existentialist angst "God is dead! Your out of a job!" The Warlock was somewhat of a charlatan since his magic was

really just CGI effects added after people blinked which is why the Warlock never worked with either the lid less or the sleeping. Just then the Nihilist rounded the corner and

stumbled onto a barbaric scene: a Jackie's House of Clown Meat! "Holy Mother of Mike!" gasped the Nihilist as the clownburgers plooped out of the spigots in gloppy primary colors.

It was the type to send shivers through her spine. Laughter filled the forest from all areas. It was as if they were out to get her - whoever 'they' were. She shivered again,

Only this time every creature in the forest felt it. The trees could not stop laughing! She crouched under a bush, only to reconnect directly with her personal wizard From 2658.