I was is the dark forest. Sounds of terrified

I was is the dark forest. Sounds of terrified screams from both sides of me. I knew I had to run but I didn't know where to go. *Snap!* That's it, I'm finished. Oh God that's

a vampire come to suck the blood out of me! I threw my hands out in an effort to try and keep him as far from my neck as possible when the sound of laughter filled the air...

" MWEHEHEHE !! " Is what it sounded like . The laughter kept reapeating so much , I got a terrible headache . I was ready to pass out , but I had remebered that a vampire was on

fire tonight. The vampire riffed about fat people's blood and the crowd was laughing their heads off. Stand Up Drac was a hit. The crowd was probably drunk but

one heckler was drunker than the rest. It was morbidly obese chick. She really peeved the Count by yelling "Hey snaggletooth, eat my dirt." He was orthodontically challenged &

optometrally challenged as well as the Count wore a monocle which automatically made him look more distinguished. The obese chick's nasty comment really hurt the Count's feelings

. "I Really must ask you to leave!" he harrumphed, popping out his monacle. The fat girl rolled her eyes and pulled a cold leg of mutton out of the pantry and started gnawing.

She passed the mutton back and forth between herself and the Mastiff. Occasionally slobber would drip on the floor and he wasn't sure if it was the girl's or the dog's.

it didn't matter.He was no sissy and a little slobber wouldn't scare him off.Not at all!The girl and her mastiff seemed to be done with the meat and were starting on desert when