A group of about 50 religious protesters

A group of about 50 religious protesters marched around the circle for about two hours at the beginning of the celebration carrying signs that said,

"WWJD". Later it would be presumed that they thought the answer was beating several minorities and burning down at least three clinics. Mostly the leaders, some were innocent sheep

caught in the crossfire. When someone brought a rocket launcher to a church service, that was when it became clear they weren't messing around. Harlan County brought out the worst

in arm dealers. The rocket was just a bucket of moped parts. If you want weapons, real weapons you got to talk to a 14 year old Nigerian Pimp named Count Lala, ask for

the "Super-size Special." I won't spoil the surprise of what to expect, let's just say that Count Lala thinks he's funny by equating McDonald's with fat Americans.

Okay, I will spoil the surprise: SURPRISE!!! There is no inherent meaning in what I just told you. I am a liar. A liar and a cheat with bad posture. Posture that even a

tuck it into my sleeve cuff, the way old ladies carry their tissue. Regardless, I'm good at what I do, and I do it with a straight face. Even the Home Depot guy says I

am slutty with the putty. And what's more, I bolt like a colt. The Home Depot guy was kinda cute, but I left my heart at Ace because that hardware man was definitely helpful if you

Count the number of items he loaded into the baby buggy. Sea turles raced across the street to escape the chance of being asked to carry stuff to my home. Hardware was lost!