"Well isn't that FANTASTIC!?" I asked Johann

"Well isn't that FANTASTIC!?" I asked Johann sarcastically. He gave me the look that he wanted me to shut up. I was ruining his interview. This was he shot at being GREAT!

But as a professional interview saboteur, I was obliged, being under contract, to undermine poor Johann. I felt sorry for him, actually, more than most -- maybe I'm not suited for

being an interview saboteur, but I had to make a living. "Johann, if you made an origami crane from sandpaper, which grit would you pick and how does that fit into your 5 year plan

." Such questions only reminded me that I was living in a world of lost and crazy people, but it's important to be kind. So, I asked, "What would you use for thousand-year grit?"

I was surprised when she answered, "What kind of thousand year grit? Encrusted sacrificial blood, or more like your run of the mill funeral pyre ash?". "Umm.. well" I hesitated, "

I don't how to saw this, but it's cooked on chili." She looked at me. Her eyes said, "How do you know?" I swept the funeral pyre with my hand, "How do I know?"

Tom Foolery had been the previous cook and only he could answer that question. Mr. Foolery was nowhere to be found now. I told her we will never know unless Tom Foolery returns.

Luckliy, she no longer cared and offed the head mafia guy herself, leaving the indopolifrenchanesian mafia completely under her control. Her first order was to make all men wear

pink fur bikinis. She thought this would humiliate the mafia men, but it turned out that the men loved the way the pink fur made their bikini areas look bulkier. Soon every mafia

man sported furry pink bikinis! This, ladies and gentlemen is the story of the phrase "Do you want a piece of me??!!" Truth...stranger than fiction!