Let me first apologize for lying to you.

Let me first apologize for lying to you. I don’t just go off and lie for the fun of it, but sometimes things get better with age. Wine. Cheese. The truth.

But you have to know, I never wanted this to happen. We both know it would have been better if you had just stayed in the dark, don't we?

And that's what the Birth Canal said. The Fetus knew it was true. It was much better in the womb, everything delivered right to you. Even beer. But the awful truth was

We all had to be pushed, mercilessly, from it and be hit with cold unfeeling air. This air would grow colder and colder and we all had to grow, skin stretching over flesh till we

covered our chattering bones. The flesh took on shape and soon we looked like all of the brood did in the mature state. We took the vacated seats of the crew and waited for the cap

tain to arrive on the bridge. "Ahoy, guys you look snappy!" Little did he know that his crew was replaced by doppelgänger clones. We smied vacantly as we sent the star ship to

a course to Planet Xog. Spaceman Spiff adjusted various levers and dials. Just as the craft was lifting off, Lt. Hobbes noticed a huge tentacle

reaching up from the planet surface! It wrapped itself around the ship, thrashing it from side to side. "Hobbes!" Spiff shouted. "The hull won't take much more of this! We have to

... but Hobbes had already routed the stereo to the external grid, and soon the whole tentacular planet tingled with Streisand's "People". Spiff gaped. "Man -- so intuitive."