With his apnea kicking in, his snoring interrupted

With his apnea kicking in, his snoring interrupted the second aria of Der Valkyrie. His wife attempted to hit him in the ribs with her clutch purse. The ushers crouched forward and

slapped him round the face, but the snoring continued, ever louder, until it drowned out the entire chorus. His wife knew it was a mistake to take him to see the Ring cycle, but

she knew it wouldn't scare him as much as the movie 'The Ring' had. Can you believe

it's not butter? Seriously think about it. It's NOT butter. It's Not. It's yellow. Salty. Smooth. It goes on food like butter, but it's NOT butter." She was scaring the shit out

me. That's when I saw the toast flicker. "Is the world I know just an elaborate hoax?" I asked her as the table glitched and the "buttered toast" fell to the floor. The whole house

began losing the horizontal hold,but she remained rock steady."Thank God you are real!" The text appeared in closed caption below her feet. A women appeared in a small box & signed

John Hancock. Suddenly, i was naked in front of my seventh grade English class. Then, Tony the Tiger appeared to do a commercial with a bunch of kids that he would've rather eaten

than danced with. But the trainers had threatened him. "Eat one more kid and we will put you in a music video with the Queen of Genitalia, Majela Zeze Diamond."

He said this, then realized, "Oh, you're Muslim!" She nodded & joked, "Don't be frightened. So he laughed, "Well, don't ride a plane over me!" He chuckled, the babyeater did not.