He was a fledgling namedropper looking to

He was a fledgling namedropper looking to score. And so, when his sister's husband's grandfather, a minor civic leader, suddenly passed away, he knew this was his chance at fame.

He immediately volunteered to do the eulogy, but only between the governor and the police chief. He dropped a few names & flashed a picture of himself with Dr. Phil. The body rose

six feet out of the casket and floated across the hushed mourners. His glass eye fell out and landed in a woman's hat. No one noticed. Then Copperfield's body rotated and fire ball

s erupted out of every visible orifice, and some invisible ones. Everybody shielded themselves from Copperfield's undead onslaught, but none were able to stop what was to come--

except for Cowboy TV of course! He saved us from the undead onslaught and we thanked him by

Oh man! Zombies would have been AWESOME! I'd have to settle for asshole, though. I wonder if he knew what kind of powers i'd have as an asshole. I also wonder

if anyone knew, that almost everyone ruling anything on this planet was an asshole, so you pretty are out of competition, if you lack a spark of assholery. He checked, if

his asshole was perhaps sparky enough to be a true leader, alas, all he found was some corn, a doll, and a marmaduke comic he was saving for later. He knew now what he must do:

to live his life happily to the end of his life, giving the doll and the comic for the villagers that obeyed him and worshipped him as a god ever after.