By the time the parachute opened there wasn't

By the time the parachute opened there wasn't time to prepare for the landing, all I could think was I wish I asked her

what her favorite color was. I'll bet it was pink or purple or something typical. I liked that about her, she was

both the most interesting person I've ever met and also the most predictable. But I never could've predicted that she

would eventually be the one to kill me. Looking back on it

, the hockey mask and chain saw should have been a dead give away. My mistake. That's why you should never get into

a relationship with a man who claims to be "into" murder. I guess the only thing left to do now is

play dead and hope it turns him on. I don't mind bondage or furries, but this was too much. He looked as if

i just stomped on his nuts. So, i did what any god fearing man would do, and pissed on his

gleaming "Highest Score" candlepin bowling trophy.

With my proof of worth in tow, I set off for the bright lights of Sioux City.