He was a racist but he was also the pastor

He was a racist but he was also the pastor of an African American church. His whole existence was like a civil war. Two halves hating each other. How did a White Pastor become the

head of a black church? The idea had consumed him since he began to hate them all. If he could attack their morals, get them fighting one another, subvert their community, he'd

finally be able to enslave them again. But his plan involved reverting Obama back to his African roots, not something that would be easy. He called in

Jim Brown, Pauly Shore, and Jesse Jackson. While Pauly was out getting coffee they drew up a plan on making Barack blacker than ever. As Public Enemy blared, they

called upon the Wu Tang clan by reciting the magical incantation. As the Wu materialized before them, Jim Brown and Jess Jackson began circling the pentagram drawn on the floor

ad words with them. They needed to rent the studio for their martial arts classes, but Jim & Jess weren't finished with their Mormon prayer ritual to help Romney's undue campaign.

Jim finished first and rose to his feet, only to spy Ann Romney executing a well-placed kick to Jess' buttocks, causing Jess to drop the magic lantern. Ann appeared smug, then

hit back without warning with a finishing punch across the brow of Jess' already bloodied face. "And that," she swaggered over her fallen enemy, "Is how the cookie crumbles!"

And that, dear Penelope, was when Cupcake Wars jumped the shark. I knew that replacing the baking tools with weapons wouldn't lead anywhere good. Cookies would surely keep crumblin