Sighing, she looked into the dusty mirror

Sighing, she looked into the dusty mirror and took off her earrings, eyelashes, and nose.

Being a Barbara Streisand stunt double was hard work,

but a worthwhile & fulfilling career. I've got a divaesque personality-check. But I can't sing & my hair fell out when I was 3. Ms Streisand wil only communicate with me via pigeon

walk. That's pretty strange. She'll waddle in a seemingly random walk while cocking her head forward occasionally picking at bits on the floor. But Barbra is my diva mentor

and diva mentors like Barbra are above criticism by mere mortal students of her style such as myself. Although some might say that she is literally just a penguin, I believe in her

her avian mind. A mind of swirling spaces traced out by up and down for transit vectors, wind resultants, likely thermals while also balancing procreative motive, social bonding,

ya know, the usual stuff a bird girl has. She was pretty special, though, even for a bird girl.

Her head was like that of a cardinal, bright coloured red with beak and feathers. Her wings were red and black with white stripes. I hadn't ever seen anything like it. We went to

Mount Everest, where she tested my faith. "Jump," she said. "I will fly down and catch you, I promise." I wasn't sure how this would end, but I knew I had to try...so I jumped.