His voyeuristic adventure began with remote-controlled

His voyeuristic adventure began with remote-controlled minhelicopters with built-in camera but really took off when he sent a minisub through the plumping of the Apartment complex.

His mom told him that calling his poop "mini subs" was really immature. She was trying to get him to leave home ever since he turned 43, but he was still trying to figure out

why The Rock called it "The People's Elbow" when it was obviously The Rock's elbow. Even metaphors and subtleties of Pro Wrestling were lost on this 43 yr old momma's boy. Dwayne

had been named after the actor who played Dobie Gillis, his mother's TV heart throb. The entire trajectory of his life was due to that unfortunate naming. Dwayne's greatest fear

was probably being belittled by an army of 3-foot neuroscientists. Sure, it didn't seem as bad as a slow, painful death, but you didn't live the childhood Dwayne did.

He had tried out for the Mouseketeers, but instead he was cast for the Minnie Mouseketeers. Dwayne even had to wear a tutu. That explains why he later starred in Tooth Fairy.

their Director of Experimental Ballet. However, the only suggestion he was able to make was that the dancers should make a bigger effort to lift their

nostrils high in the air. "Point your noses to the heavens above." he exclaimed as he tapped with his ebony cane. "Ballet is all about snootiness, let's see some snoot."

With that knowledge, I turned my nose as high as I could. I would be the snootiness girl there if that's what he wanted. Nose high and dreams even higher.