She had short hair, glasses and was 53. She

She had short hair, glasses and was 53. She wore "juicy" sweats and stopped her cart in the middle of Costco abruptly. Always abruptly.

Every day, she bought a coffee at the cheap cafe around the corner from her house, and always left it half-finished. Instead of paying for things she left piles of sweets

on the counter and then ran. She refused to wear underwear but it usually didn't make any difference because of the long fur coat she wore around. At night, instead of brushing her

teeth, she'd usually just pound a bottle of Whiskey and start whistlin dixie. She was a cold woman; her icy heart could freeze even the most firey egos, mine being quite steamy. My

steamy ego combined with her icy heart to form a watered down relationship like her whiskey after the cubes melted. That phase ended when we went Vegas & saw the neon lights

, he got into close-up stage magic. I would be at the penny slots sighing. He presented himself as "Fred the Mysterio." by the buffet table. "Your coin has...DISAPPEARED!"

which was funny the first time, but after awhile it got old. How many times can I possibly have a rose pulled out from behind my ear, and the rabbit in the hat thing? Dont get me

started on the visual puns and cliches, man. I tell ya, I see one more of those things and I'm going to

add another non-sequitur.