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Russel Bertrand was completely focussed on

  • Russel Bertrand was completely focussed on solar power. His house and car was solar and he supported Solar Impulse. He stopped eating after he had algae implanted under his skin.
  • And that's when Det. Manatee started munching on his neck. The man was mostly sea plant now, and well the Detective needed a pick me up because he was on a very intense assig
  • nment. The radioactive tuna from the Fukoshima plant was turning the dolphins into zombies. When Det Manatee translated their chatter on a special device, they said "Fin's, FINS!
  • Manatee, PI put down his auqa-phones and muttered to himself, "Why did it have to be the day I would retire, Zombie-Dolphins! Get me the Thunderbirds on the horn."
  • "Hola! This is Thunderbirds." "Get ahold of Pope-Man! We need to make the entire ocean holy water to combat the Dolphin Zed! Quick, the the Manatee-Mobile!" He dropped the phon
  • and was swallowed by the waves. Thankfully, he'd gotten his message through; a man dressed like the Pope could be seen for miles around, blessing the ocean because
  • Moses had parted it, but it never came back together. The pigeons were flying around with the message in their little backpacks, looking for the lucky receiver. Finally they flew o
  • -ver my grandmother's house and dropped their payloads (so to speak) down her chimney. She was mightily confused. "Now what's all this about some Moses sea party?" she asked.
  • Yeah, grandma was old, and she had the fireplace going so she cooked and ate the "payloads". Seriously, old people. What the hell? "I knew Moses once," Grandma said. "Told him
  • to stop all that leading his people nonsense and find a real job, but the ecconomy sucked then too.There weren't a lot of prophet jobs, ya know?" I gave Grandma some more morphine.

3 Comments

  1. KieferSkunk Sep 29 2012 @ 13:51

    You could even say that leading your men out of Egypt wasn't very "prophetable". ;)

  2. Zetawilk Sep 29 2012 @ 14:26

    They should have taken public transport. They simply needed Anubis.

  3. KieferSkunk Sep 29 2012 @ 18:12

    But what if it breaks down? They'd need to make sure they have a good mecca-nik on hand.

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