Throckmorton knew that if he were ever to

  • Throckmorton knew that if he were ever to break wind in the echo chamber he would never hear the end of it.

  • Because his wife was in there too. "Gawds, Throckmorton, what did you eat?" she'd say. This echo chamber wasn't the romantic cave from the brochure; it was a box in an underfunded

  • salt mine. Throckmorton and his wife were 2,000 feet underground. "Crystal Caves! you said! Second Honeymoon! you said!" Her voice reverberated as the tunnel collapsed.

  • Throckmorton held up his hands, trying to placate her. "They were crystal when we got here," he said feebly as his wife threw her

  • flaming, thorned garters at him. Throckmorton screams in agony, begging his wife to 'please, please, not the garters' but his wife continues the assault. The man has no choice but

  • fortunately for Throckmorton, his destiny was decided by the 3 weird sisters so "having no choice" was irrelevant. Throckmorton's wife's thorned garter

  • pricked his skin. Blood trickled down his arm like honey, making the sheets in the honeymoon suite all wet and sticky. Unluckily for Throckmorton, his new bride was a vampire.

  • But she didn't want to let on. She wanted to have the vampire-hunters baby. It would be the ultimate revenge for nearly extinguishing her ancient race.Throckmorton was oblivious to

  • empathy or sympathy - it was way too past his state of mind. He wanted to kill it - now, kill her. But no. It deserved to live, no matter what. It was her choice, after all.

  • He grabbed the cleaver from her and threw it into the wooden floor. The offspring chewed off half his hand when he tried to pet it, but that was endearing. "OK, needs training."



  1. PurpleProf Jun 05 2014 @ 16:12

    I cannot take credit for the first line of this story. It came from a guy named Davis who entered a contest sponsored by the English Department at San Jose State University. http://gpsinformation.info/main/Bulwer.txt

  2. PurpleProf Jun 05 2014 @ 16:14

    *David C. Mortensen* from Pocatello, Idaho.

  3. SlimWhitman Jun 06 2014 @ 19:39

    Wonder what he'd think of what became of Throckmorton here...

  4. PurpleProf Jun 06 2014 @ 20:58

    I should try to find him and send him the link to our story.

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