At strip malls, people usually kept their

At strip malls, people usually kept their clothes on. But at many abandoned shopping malls, some people sat on the benches naked, ruminating about the passage of time, watching

A crunching need to bare open, clothes, space, to someone who understands. It expels this irony to the one who notices.

Bob sat thoughtfully, noticing. Bob understood. "I've felt this very same way for years," he whispered. The crunching...the crunching... "I must get naked...NOW!" Bob suddenly

whipped off his silk suit and lucky boxers. He ran in circles. Everyone stared in shock. This didn't usually happen in the middle of an opera. But here Bob was in all his glory.

Bob realized that he was standing naked in front of a full house of opera fans, so he did the only thing he could think of: he began to sing "O Sole Mio". His voice was rich and

melodious, so the opera goers forgot his state of dishabille. In fact, when it came Pavarotti's time to join Bob onstage, the mob felt he was way overdressed: "Chuck the tux!" they

chanted. "Chuck... the... tux!" Pavarotti tried not to cry, but a horrible, cheating tear fell from his left eye. "No, no...." He sighed,

Parvotti gave them the best damn show, belting out his ballad completely exposed to the world. He just hoped that it would all be worth it, that he would win his prize

of a potato with a fork sticking out of it shaped shadow. The judges, alas, did not deem him worthy though and gave the prize to a naked unknown barista from Pierre South Dakota.