The Toddler was pure evil. He would take

The Toddler was pure evil. He would take two things and smash them together just to see what would happen. He once pinched his father quite hard and showed no remorse at all.

So the father went to work seething and left the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies. It was the only way he could express his rage

. Then June, from HR, placed the sign-up sheet for the Spring potluck on the glass. The machine became sentient. It would seek revenge on those who never filled the toner. Soon,

its struggling plans for world domination, its overthrow of the people who placed their oily bottoms on its glass face, soon, these would come to fruition, it told itself. Soon.

But first, there were the standard nefarious problems to be solved: schemes to be laid and plans hatched, minions hired and lairs acquired. And the most daunting problem of all:

What would be their secret handshake? Lex Luthor thougt they should use Kryptonite gloves, Prof. Moriarty argued for the dissapearing 6th finger shake and Dr. No wanted a footstomp

Oprah wanted a little wine. Luthor, Moriarty, and Dr No opted for the whine. Wow, this is terrible! Why am I continuing to finish this fold?

I couldn't stop myself. Did I like writing terrible folds? Maybe I was just bored. Or depressed. Did I have OCD? Maybe I had an addiction. Or maybe I had BRAIN CANCER! Maybe

and YES there were sexual things too, stop asking you perverts, but mostly Donnie Davo wanted me to listen to him ranting about how much Darko sucked. I concurred.