Waking up, I noticed I no longer had arms

Waking up, I noticed I no longer had arms or legs. Not the best start to the day but I was determined to make the most of the morning as the weather was supposed to turn by the aft

ernoon. I rolled out of bed & down the hall, grabbed a bagel with my teeth & headed to my backyard for a little quadriplegic yoga. I was training for the Olympics - the luge.

Quadriplegic luge is not for the faint of heart. There is no sled, not like for the parapalegic sell outs. They toss one team member down the ice shoot with the rest stacked up

like pancakes down the bottom. They just waiting to be struck by their Quadriplegic luge buddy. Having no sled gives him ice splinters. The goal is to break as many bones as possib

le while retaining some sort of measurable brain activity. Bonus points given for blood streaks down the luge measuring larger than 4 meters. This wasn't a contest you entered to

win; this was a contest to have fun in!" saying so, I picked up the midget, and sent him careening across the field; when he landed he burst into a bloody pulp. "100 yards!" I

adding insult to injury, it was a larch. But I suspected foul play when I saw an acorn tumble out of the caber's knothole. "Bugger", I thought, "Quigly's tossing wierding logs!"

But I kept a straight face, knowing that in less than 10 seconds,Quigly's acorn would self-destruct & fill the room with poisonous gas.I started backing out of the room, whistling

Dixie as the ancient gypsy enchantress had bid me do. I almost forgot to click my heels together, and I zapped out of the room and into the South--not much of an improvement.