I was trapped, alone on an iceberg, penguins

I was trapped, alone on an iceberg, penguins and that squamous, tentacled THING slowly melting out of the ice as my only companionship. The penguins had wised up to my predations,

I hacked off a tentacle from the THING emerging out of the berg and chucked it at the penguins as a quasi peace offering. They looked unimpressed & flapped their 'wings' as if the

morsel wasn't enough. So I hacked off a few more tentacles as the emerged, and a muscular saclike appendage with a protruding eye. The creature was nonplussed as the penguins began

peck at my ankles. "Not helping!" I gritted as I took another swing at the leviathan squid with my cleaver. The penguins hid behind me. What I do for sushi...

Perhaps it was just plain luck, but the cleaver struck home, shearing through a tentacle like butter. Behind me the penguins chattered, enthusiastic of their forthcoming meal.

The crippled yet formidable octopus hugged me tight and began preparing the penguins' meal, planning me as the main course. I was to be served up with a side order of seal whisker

s and polar bear teeth. And just as the penguins were about to stab me with their steely knives, I let out a long, loud scream. I didn't want to be eaten by penguins! Not today!

"Will you take a rain check?" I asked the penguins. They stared at me. "I mean a snow check, of course!" "Oh yes," they answered, "let's reschedule this stabbing for next Thursday

…,” but then little Chilly Willy wobbled and shoved his way through the huddle until he was within an inch of my womanliness, close enough to see I was without panties. He stabbed

himself before he would violate me, bless his heart. So see? You thought this tale would have some sordid ending, didn't you? But instead, Chilly Willy proved chivalrous.