It was surprisingly bland, I thought as I

It was surprisingly bland, I thought as I took my first tentative bite of human flesh. Steve had breathed his last only a week ago, but it seemed like he'd been gone forever.

As I slowly chewed the human flesh between my teeth, I felt Steve's essence vibrating inside. Could it be that consuming Steve would grant me the total force of his knowledge?

But I only found out about the vibrator when I bit into Steve's delicious rump and it chipped my front teeth! How did I explain this to my health insurance? Well, you see...

I was giving the dog a bath. I was naked because I didn't want to get my clothes wet. My dog's back was real sore, so I got a "muscle massager" and it was wet, I slipped and

and landed on the dog's back. Doggie was not pleased about it cos he didn't like to have a bath and he didn't want the extra weight on his sore back. He shook himself and I fell

into the water dish. I had never learned to swim. My wings were wet and covered in the saliva that was floating in the drink. I panicked as I started to sink, luckily

my fanny pack was also an airbag. Unfortunately, the concussive force of the airbag shattered the ceramic bowl and I was sent sprawling into the tiny, wet shards.

Wet because of my blood. It was disgusting. I passed out.

I heard the soft sound of wind chimes as floated out of my body. Passing beyond the confines of earth, astrally touching the clouds, I got sucked into a turbo of an Boeing 787.