"Dave whats the secret to your steak man!"

"Dave whats the secret to your steak man!" Mike exclaimed. "You really wanna know?" Dave asked. Mike nodded enthusiastically. "Well the two main ingredients are napalm and bleach."

Mike sighed his relief: "Mystery solved! These symptoms had me worried." He used some chewed-out corn cobs to plug up the holes his intestines were oozing out of. "Great BBQ, Dave!

. I've been in worse situations." he smoothed down the duct tape over his wound. Mike waited a few seconds, then ripped the tape off. Dave gasped; there was no hole anymore! "What

in the world! How did you do that?" Dave was soon to discover that his father had taught Mike to heal himself by sheer willpower alone. Chuck Norris would've been proud.

Dave's father looked at him, "Dave, I would have taught you the same as Mike eventually. You didn't have to shoot me!" "Why don't you just heal yourself through willpower like you

told my mother when she died of being smashed by the elephant that she had been teasing. You said the elephant had more wilpower. I say this bullet has more willpower. Goodbye Dad.

I am going to put this bullet between my teeth and chomp down on it as hard as I can. Then you'll be sorry, and so will your murderous elephant friend. You'll have to clean up

this mess, wearing nothing but bamboo leaves. You will laugh. You will cry. And you will die. I will follow you to heaven and beyond. Now, take this bullet, and pray for you soul.

And, well, you can guess what then happened. No need to go into the messy details. There's a moral to this story & it's this: Don't play with Ouiji boards.