The Kolians manipulated defects in the metallic

The Kolians manipulated defects in the metallic hydrogen core of their planet for computation. All data of their civilization flows to the core which I believe Captain is sentient.

I went on for a while about the unique and precious nature of planet Kolia but the Captain stopped listening after "oil". He said "Prepare THE DRILL". I screamed "No, didn't you he

ar a single thing I just said, for cryin' out loud?"The Captain turned away. That's when I noticed his head sticking out of his ass. The planet Kolia was in more trouble than I

was, geez. The creatures on this planet had heads sticking out of their asses. They were also cheeky. They all had diarrhea of the mouth too. They were a backward looking civilizat

-ion. "What have I stumbled myself into?" He shuddered. The Backward Aliens as he called them were disgusting and grotesque. One had suddenly started to move towards him.

"Rasshshsaaah kaa waaa!" It started clapping its butt ferociously. Snot was flying everywhere. He needed to get out of there and fast. He slid to his Prius and floored it

And it started right away. Whew! The snot police questioned him and found it was his dog who started it all. Dogs don't use handkerchiefs, as you know. They just slobber and sneeze

, leaving kaleidoscopic sputum patterns hanging briefly in the wind for all to photograph. A dog remembers every pattern he's ever ejected out of a car window as an art form.

They call it Freeform Defenestration, and I was into it waaay before it was cool.