"How much will my clean bill of health set
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"How much will my clean bill of health set me back, doc?" I asked. "Hm, $40, plus the cost of hollow pills." It was cheaper to be sick, so I forced a cough. The GP sedated me with
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saline & I went into fake convulsions. It was cheaper to be sick & I needed a few days off anyway. I crossed my eyes & tried to appear as if I was choking. I peed my pants so that
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made a squish noise each time I walked. Unfortunately I was sitting on an electric heating pad. It shorted out and shocked my balls. That was when my extraordinary journey began.
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I yelped, jumped up, and ran aimlessly for what seemed like a few seconds, but by the time I stopped, I'd somehow ended up in a rainforest in South America.
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I was taken in by the Yanomamo and given a prized hammock in the long hut and a companion named Tsuzi Tlotes to help me assimilated. I assimilated like a prized bull wrapped in
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bubble wrap. But I ended up becoming too assimilated. Within a week Tsuzi Tlotes's and I had conceived a baby. The Yanomamo tribe had a tradition to kill the mother of every single
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invention on this so-called island paradise. "No inventions, no technology, no ruination of our culture" was the motto of the Yanomamo tribe. Tsuzi Tlotes and I would be parents
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as well as cousins, because trying to calculate repopulation from just 20 or so people really sucks. Pardon the pun, but multiplication wasn't my cup of tea. Hence our island home.
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There are only two of us and we use birth control. Oh I've just discovered a pregnant vole. The population of this island is currently three. I mean, its
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possible for us to populate this island if we end the birth control. But I don’t know if I should mate with someone I’m not thrilled about. You see, I’m more attracted to the vole.
4
- Started
- 2013-06-22 19:37:55
- Finished
- 2020-01-27 13:17:36
2 Comments
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LordVacuity Jan 27 2020 @ 16:38
Do you want to have vole fever? Because that is how you get vole fever.
SlimWhitman Jan 29 2020 @ 14:24
Vole fever makes you flush, your whiskers twitch. and the estrus is a feeling wafting through the air, you leap across the fields, oblivious to the furtive weasel, looking for a mate!