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The cat sat on the mat

  • The cat sat on the mat

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  • The dog ran out of the bog.

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  • And hit a hog right in its log because of the thick fog.

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  • And the hog fell down and blocked the drain, which was a pain because of all the rainwater running in the gutter. So the water started to fill the street, and the fog got thicker.

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  • You see? Cause and effect. I shot the hog and caused a chain reaction which gives only snipers with thermal imaging an advantage. That's us. Hog. Flood. Fog. Death. Those bastards

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  • from the Starbucks would never approve. Their PETA-card toting, tree hugging clientele would rather suffer the unknowable pain and agony to their toenails than deal with the

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  • achilles heel of their existence. But he took pleasure in knowing that he would be able to go into a starbucks at his own leisure and see them trying to put on a show of regularity

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  • ... Of course, in truth, they burned their beans; he knew this, and yet still pitied their corporate methods enough to purchase a tall latte nearly every day. The poor saps.

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  • He ate a handful of the beans raw. Then he punched his hand in the air delighting in the bitter taste. He considered doing something particularly unsavory, it might just work.

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  • He did it, he pulled out the bottle of vodka and boiled the beans in it. Slowly, he placed one in his mouth. His senses exploded. As the light faded from his eyes... he burped.

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