Having the reputation in college as "The

Having the reputation in college as "The Guy Who Eats A Lot Of Pizza" is not quite a feat, but it might be an accomplishment. My discarded crusts spilled over on my overdue work

which in turn spilled out of my intricately doodled Trapper Keeper. To be known as "The Guy Who Eats A Lot Of Pizza" you've got to really want it. You can't just eat a lot. You've

got to go beyond the concept of "A lot." Rookies eat a lot of pizza, but me, I don't eat a lot of pizza, I am finishing ONE pizza, so big, it can't be baked in one restaurant but

requires an oven the size of Rhode Island, which coincidentally is known as the "pizza of states". It cost me A LOT of money -- an entire parking lot filled with $1 bills stacked

high above the clouds. I don't even know where this money came from! One day I was minding my own business when the money had just landed in my back garden!; but at that point it

didn't matter. Nothing mattered to me anymore. Nothing and no one. As I watched hundred dollar bills float down around me from the sky, all I could think of was...her.

In a trance state, I tenderly gathered bill after bill & covered Ben Franklin's face with kisses- seeing only her sweet face before me. I swept the startled bank teller into a jig,

then into a waltz, endorsing her back side even as we danced, which made my signature a bit uneven and unacceptable to her. After a quick shower she made me redo it, but even then

chocolate. Which, you know, is wrong. It wasn't chocolate. In the end, in all of our hearts, we knew.. it was love.