my stomach hurt, something was wrong

my stomach hurt, something was wrong

It was not over. A huge raven beast came to me and, before it could eat me, turned into... I can't say it, but it really did turn into Justin Bieber. I screamed not in delight but

in fright. "AAAAHHHHH!!" I screamed. This was not good because it attracted Justin Bieber's attention. We made eye contact. He moved towards me. I ran.

Suddenly Bieber split open and revealed his true form - that of a GIANT SLOR. Many Shubs and Zulls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of a Slor that day. But not me. Not

by a long shot and if I had my way, which I would, the shot would be a lot longer still. Oh, I felt the heat but I kept my cool and escaped with the minor loss of my soul.

I no longer had any consciousness, but that was ok, nobody could tell anyway. There were too many soulless humans in this world, so no one would notice one more. I could pretend.

So it was that I went on the subway. I got off at the Gresham stop and went to the nearest Fresh Market. There I bought six pineapples on sale and served them to the dogs. The dogs

served the pineapple to the rats in the alley, who served them to their fleas, who served them to some bacteria, who ate them up happily, but alas, died in the heat of the sun.

All in all they finally figured out how to cure a bacterial infection using only pineapple. And the best part is the cure tasted great even without a spoonful of sugar!