One day in mid- April, I walked out with

One day in mid- April, I walked out with my meat cleaver in my bag. It was accidentsl, but it did stop some thug on the red line from stealing my phone! I left it at home afterward

as carrying around a Cleaver seemed a bit extreme. But how did I end up with it in my bag anyway? Was I going crazy? Did I put i in there in my sleep?

That's when I started suspecting I was a sleep walker. That's when I decided I would put a camera in my bedroom to record my sleep every night.

a kind of drone that flew into my bedroom, hovering over my head and extending a needle towards my eyeball to inject something there. The footage explained why my vision

had become X-RAY vision! This was o.k. when looking at Jenny from next door. But to see MOM that way? Uh-uh. I would lie in wait for the aliens tonight and ask they replace it with

turkey burgers and sweet potato fries. He looked at his mom with his X-Ray vision.

"I guess you weren't lying mom." I said, looking at her with x-Ray vision. "You do have big bones!" I said

, but your heart is even bigger!" (Moms love to hear junk like this.) So Mom made me a big cake and ate it all herself by mistake. Meanwhile, I was wasting away. I looked like a

slip in the wind who was only eating the light of your laughter Mom. But still, I still did want some cake. Frankly, absolutely any food would do. Fish food! I knew we had that.