Smiles! Everyone! Smiles! (quick, hide that

Smiles! Everyone! Smiles! (quick, hide that behind your back.) A-hem, welcome to the Wonderful Island of [NAME REVOKED BY OHS]! I am your host, [INSERT NAME HERE].

and here is my trusty litttle sidekick Mr. Magoo. On [REDACTED WORD] Island you will experience your most intimate [REDACTED WORD] "De Train de Train!" "Mr. Magoo, can't you see

that you cannot see?" Mr. Magoo was oblivious to anything except his carnal desires. The island was his personal perverse paradise. He'd been blinded by a pair of really firm

nun breasts when, as a child, a nun had leaned over to slap his wrists. The last thing Magoo ever saw clearly were those holy hooters suddenly thrusting towards him. Ever since

he never read Playboy or whatever, because

he was blind. Until they could make a 3d playboy it would be useless to him. So instead he invested in natural audio porn. It turned out to be sounds of nature, mostly running wate

r, birdsong, crickets, rustling leaves, ocean waves, bear fights, hurricanes, volcanic eruptions, earthquakes, avalanches. He wasn't feeling very relaxed by these nature sounds

Even three years later. Nefarious cloud technology rained on his dreams of having peace of mind. The cloud took different forms to collect information. No television meant more

than the television that had gotten wedged between the two universes. It kept them both from sliding free of each other. It was dubbed the TV of Accidental Entanglement. It caught