• erwre343434

  • It had followed me from a dream into real life, appearing randomly. "erwre343434". It was the last thing my concubot said before she left me standing in the rain. I got a tattoo

  • of my concubot rain dancing, with the words 'Lust for Rust' cradling her tin cans. "The water fried her system, but not before she made off with my cash," I told the tattoo artist,

  • who had gotten drowsy from my boring hard luck story. He'd tatooed Solacious Crumb right in the middle of my back. I never found out about until I saw a rerun of my naked hologram

  • at a strip club on Yavin IV. Little did I know that after his death a secret cult following Salacious Crumb had developed. My back tattoo of "The Crumb" was a mark of the order.

  • I was immediately shoved into a dimly lit backroom of the club. Three piles of crumbs were on the table & a gun was pressed to my temple. I said "Graham cracker, sourdough, Ritz."

  • "One last try," a voice in the darkness rasped. A single bead of sweat rolled down my face & I whispered "Triscuit, Saltines, Goldfish..." I swallowed. The lights suddenly came on

  • & I found myself facing the Pepperidge Farm brigade. They'd kidnapped me from the treehouse, demanding the Keebler secrets. I would never tell. Never! Our crackers were baked with

  • pure, grade-A elf dust, which WILL get you high. Pepperidge Farm had no idea who they were messing with. That's when My Keebler kemosabes snuck in the back with lit katanas and

  • attacked. Rivers of blood and baked goods flowed heavier than Rosie odonnell's menstrual cycle. Satisfied the blood the was fulfilled the elves committed ritual suicide.



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