one day i was playing in the sand box, ands

one day i was playing in the sand box, ands sand got in my eye, so i started to scream, and run around in cirlces i likedsand but not any more, now i like to

run around like a hungry monkey without his banana. At least I wasn't throwing poop like normal monkeys would or groom someone for a snack.Anyways, after my daily exercise I

mourned the 1% genetic difference that used to separate me from the other Chimps. The Gamma ray had erased it. Oh, so small, but so precious that little genetic difference, I went

the way of the humanzee project, but in reverse. Dick Cheney said this could be his big break, that if properly trained, my turning into a chimp could replace Bush Jr. for him!

This plan, however, made Jeb Bush extremely jealous. If anyone was gonna be a chimp, it was gonna be him! he thought. He stole the plans for the Chimperizer 2000 and began

throwing the Chimperizer controls. Jeb wanted to be a two termer like Ronnie. A great communicator could get ideas across with just the right head movement or grimace like George W

It could not have rained harder than it did just five minutes later. The door opened

a policeman entered the house, completely wet. Hey! What are you doing here!? He asked me.

"Nothing officer", I sighed, satisfied in having finally gotten the officer back for that parking ticket all those years ago.